…That It Makes People Wet Their Pants. (It’s supposed to be with the title but I think it’s a little too long)

Readers have told me that they’ve laughed so hard that they almost fall off their office chairs reading my posts. I’ve also heard some spitted out the filling of the curry-puff onto the computer screen, and that my posts made their day.

Each time I hear one, I beam with “Sure Or Not?” pride.

It’s not easy to discover bloggers who are funny like hell these days. It’s either they try too hard or the jokes are stale.

Nevertheless, since I’m feeling generous and handsome today, I’m sharing some tactics that I’ve been using to come up with funny (hopefully!) posts…

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1) Make fun of yourself.

People don’t like to laugh at themselves, but they adore laughing at you. So don’t poke fun at others (even if you think it’s hilariously funny) because people do get offended.

But if you make a joke out of yourself, no one gets offended! Yahoo!

Oops, I think you can see my underwear there! *shy*

Another example: There are many fat people out there, but I knew I needed to start losing weight when both of these chairs broke when I sat on them…

That was so long ago. I was a fatty, remember?

2) Think like a kid.

It’s funny when you unleash the kid inside you. As a grown adult, being all kiddy makes people laugh. Say, wanting to be a superhero.

Also, certain childish words and expressions never fail to make people laugh. They are: pooping, watering the toilet bowl, and eating my pants off.

3) Write the opposite of what people expect.

People always expect clichés. People don’t expect originality, so booby-trap them with one.

An example of a cliché that is not funny: I ate food, it was delicious. An example of something unexpected that could make it funny: I ate food, it was so tasty that my shit smells damn good too!

Don’t worry, that’s not shit you’re looking at. Just peanut butter cream. Yums!

Oh yeah, that’s why love stories aren’t funny. I love you, you love me, and we live happily ever after – TOO cliché.

4) Use the funniest words.

Intellectual words make your readers feel mentally un-gifted, and they don’t like to be undermined. Don’t be a smartass. Instead, use simple words that sound funny. Generally, taboo words are funny. Like, pre-mature ejaculation. Sppluurtttt!

Anyway, here’s an example, a short story…

Simple story, but it’s boring and no one’s gonna laugh.

So let’s change some words and phrasing…

I suppose it’s funnier now!

That’s why panties are funny, but underwear is not. It’s also why boobs are funny, but breasts are not. But being Malaysian, tetek is funnier than boobs.

5) Find alternatives to curse words.

Writing creative curse words not only prevents you from offending people, it can also generate laughs. For instance, which is funnier: Fuck, or Fark? Buttocks, or Ass?

6) Write about topics that make people uncomfortable.

What makes people uncomfortable? Boobs, curse words, lingerie, and farting. It’ll be funnier if you can group them together.

For example: Her boobies are so farking sexy in that bra, I ogled at them and I farted with joy.

7) Photoshop yourself.

This is probably THE key ingredient when I prepare a post for kenwooi.com – photo manipulation is funny when it’s done right.

Or perhaps, photoshop your girlfriend too. She ain’t gonna be mad at you for long.

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So yeah, those are 7 ways to write a post so funny that it makes people wet in their pants. Did you? Okay, maybe not.

Anyway, I’m always impressed by people who have a good sense of humor, as in… they can laugh at the simplest joke. I really wish I could acquire that skill too, because whenever I write…

I don’t laugh at my own blog posts. I think I need to see a doctor.

Maybe he’ll give me some medicine…

FML = Follow My Laughter… Ha-ha-ha.