Attention: This entry contains information that can help you maintain a healthy, happy and rewarding life. Yea right! =P

You may already know that AIDS is caused by HIV, some Human Idiotic Immunodeficiency Virus. One of the cause is unsafe sex. Having sex without protection is risky to say the least. You could catch a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) and get your girlfriend pregnant. *omg shit fuuk!*

Starting a conversation with a partner about safer sex can be difficult. One reason many women lack confidence in asking for safer sex is that they feel that their partner’s pleasure is more important than their own well-being. Oh, how thoughtful? But that’s wrong!

In fact, asking for safer sex doesn’t mean that you doubt his faithfulness; instead it’s a health protection – a way of protecting both you and your partner.

So what if you’re not ready to get pregnant and you don’t wanna get infected, but you need loads of love and sex! Is there a solution?

Yes, there is!

Presenting the 2-in-1 Greatest Protection of all!

Candy?

NO! Look properly! It’s…

THE CONDOM!

Cookie Monster’s Condom.

“Prevents unwanted pregnancies and infections! Get 3 for just Ar-Am Nine Ninety Nine (RM9.99) a pack! Dial 1300-13-1300 now! Do call the number on your screen now! An offer not to be missed!”

Try reading it in a commercialized style. It should sound more convincing then.

Okay, back to topic. Generally, you need a constant supply of condoms and the power to request your guy to use it! Perhaps guys don’t wanna suffocate their willy? Their skin needs to ‘breath’ too, right?

Other methods such as pills, UID, IDD prepaid cards, diaphragms, spermicide and superman can’t prevent HIV. Only a condom can; with a certain success rate, which is considerably high. I think.

Anyway, here’s an illustration I’ve made on how to put on a male condom. This could come in handy if your guy doesn’t know how to install a firewall, or thinwall, on his external hard disk.

No one has ever seen this guide on the Internet before. Behold…

Kenwooi’s Guide to Wear a Condom

7 Simple Steps.

As soon as your mayonnaise comes, hold the end tightly and remove the condom before your willy shrinks. Understand now? So, now you’re a professional firewall installer!

Well, if reasoning and coaxing fail when you’re asking for safer sex, leave him! Serves him right because he’s such a dumbo! He has wasted his chance to have sex just because he didn’t wanna wear a condom. Dumb!

By the way, in medical terms, safer sex refers to sexual activities that do not involve transfer of body fluids. This includes having sex with a proper use of condom.

Oh yeah, remember: sex does not always mean intercourse.

Touching.

Kissing.

Hugging.

Massaging.

Masturbating.

They are also examples of safer sexual activities.

So guess what; we’re all engaged in sexual activities! When you touch your friend, just tell him this: Know what, we’re performing a sexual activity now! Cool isn’t it?

But I advise you not to say that to a girl, unless you wanna get kicked hard right at the… never mind.

Well, that’s all for now. I hope you’ve learned something new, because I’ve learned a lot from doing my research on this entry. Seriously! You’ll know why in another entry. So stay tuned okay?

Oh yeah, remember to call 1300-13-1300 for enquiries.

I hope McDonald’s has McCondom in the menu.

Disclaimer: kenwooi.com will not be held responsible for any unwanted babies due to unforeseen state of affairs as a result of this entry.

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